Friday, August 25, 2006

Anticipations

Sometimes I'm feeling sorry for not forming my own diary long long time ago... It would have been a prefect tool for a guy like me - one who remembers nothing. And I've gone through so many experiences I would like to memorize. But I wont cry over spilt milk...

It've been few months so far for some quality time and to lazy around like a lion after his lunch time - in my case it was whole days.
Working permits are sucks. Having no exact date for my relocation makes me a bit helpless. The feeling that something should come in the future really holds you down. It's just like the feeling when you're having a relationship that ought to end up long time ago, but you always find excuses for postponing it. Then looking back you feel so shitty for wasting so much time with this bloody partner.

My best friend Sharla (in the picture below) always reminds me that life is not a race. That there is no need to rush. One should not chase after getting things and tick things up on the list. Life should be pleasant and joyful. I believe I realized so only a year ago. I'm only 22 and I've achieved much more than people my age did. "We live l
ife only once". It might sound obvious, but looking back in my life I've spent too many days chasing after things. Chasing after money, love, better position at work and fancier clothes... I want to believe that moving to a peaceful place like Ireland will bring me to another state of mind.
Deep inside I truly want to be more peaceful, I want to wake up in the morning and to have a coffee before leaving to work. Then coming back home to relax rather than going on to visit friends or on to other events. It might be a dream and my tempor will never allow that, but I believe that some can be changed...

By my predictions I had to be in Ireland a month ago. I'm so happy it hasn't happened and that I'm still here. For the first time ever I became an uncle. Though you all know sometimes I find it hard to express feelings I'm feeling a very lucky guy. So lucky I wouldn't want anything in my life to change or to happen differently.

Having extra hours a day allocated for doing nothing I've became addicted to several TV shows. Asking me few months ago and I would reckon there is no chance that such will happen. Not to me. But it did and I have no regrets. Sometimes I found myself bursting into tears when something touchy happens. When Oprah or Ricky Lake show poor people.

My mom always said I'm a sensitive and a gentle guy. What do you think she ment by saying so??

Kisses,
lonch
xx

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